Chop wood, carry water.

A new monk asked the old monk what he needs to do to achieve enlightenment - so the story goes. The old monk said go and chop wood and carry water for the monastery.

After a few years the new monk came back and asked what else he must do. The answer, chop wood and carry water.

Doing yoga at this stage in my life made this story come back to me as I am told by my teacher to do Downward facing dog - a lot! This is a basic pose and I am still struggling and maybe in a few years I will get it right or maybe not.

But it is not important that I get it perfect, in life we have to do the basics right and keep on practicing it otherwise the other things will not work as it should. 

In yoga, the same principles that is applicable to the downward facing dog pose is applicable to all the other poses. Basics. Chop wood carry water!

In life we have to serve our fellow human beings (and the environment) in whatever we do and we have to practice it every day our whole life. The problem is that this wisdom comes so much later in life. In the beginning we are so arrogant and driven to serve ourselves that we don't consciously serve others and the environment- we tend to be takers and not givers.

Service is what life is all about and to do this we have to do the basics over and over - love, peace, patience, joy, good, kind, gentle, faithful and self control to name the important ones. We can never do it well enough so that we can say I have mastered it. Chop wood, carry water.

Enlightenment only comes when I realise that it is really not about me. When you practise the basics the Universe seems to open up to an abundance that blows your mind.

Connecting the Dots

Connecting the Dots 

 

As a kid we used to get these books with lots of dots with numbers 

and when you connect the dots in sequence of the numbers, like 

magic, a picture appears. This makes me think that it is so much 

like what we are supposed to do in life – Connecting the Dots. 

 

What do I mean by this? 

 

Every experience we have in life leaves a DOT in our subconscious, 

every experience is meant for us to learn from, everything 

happens for a reason, there are no coincidences. 

 

If you check back in a previous rambling of mine you will find 

something on the 7th Sense. (Nonsense) 

 

Connecting the dots starts with living in the moment. You have to 

experience everything going on around you. Some people think 

they cannot multi task but that is not true! At the same time we 

are seeing, we hear, we feel, we taste and we smell. You cannot 

help it. It is how we are created. The problem comes with our 

minds. We don’t register these things that we are experiencing. 

What a waste!  

 

Why don’t we register these experiences if we know that we need 

them? The simple answer is that we tend to not live in moment or 

in the present and that is where these things are happening. We 

operate on autopilot. Now this is not a bad thing per se. 

Sometimes we have to go somewhere and shut the conscious off 

so our subconscious can get a chance to “Connect the dots".

 

Connecting the dots in life comes from adding every experience 

consciously into our brain. You cannot overload it. It is said that 

people in general only utilize about 10% of their brainpower. So 

don’t be shy, there is an abundance of storage space in your brain, 

load it up with what is happening right at this moment. 

 

Think about smells for a moment and lets think about the good 

ones for now. You walk past a bakery and you can smell the fresh 

bread and it makes your mouth water. What would have happened 

if you never connected the dots between the smell of freshly baked 

bread and the taste of it? At thecsame time we also experience the feeling 

of being with mom in the kitchen or having a great family meal 

and experience the love we felt then and you can visualize your 

folks and siblings and friends. Wow, just by smelling freshly baked 

bread! What if we have never experienced or even taken note of bread being baked? Then we would walk right past the bakery and it will mean nothing to me.  

 

If you knew that the things that are happening within your sphere 

of influence right now would shape your future in one way or 

another, would you still ignore it? 

 

Now lets think about the people that we meet. Do we meet them 

by chance? I don’t think so. Everyone we meet has a purpose, 

either we are making a contribution to his or her lives or they are 

making one to ours. There is no neutral ground. This may mean a 

long friendship or a moment. Sometimes when we smile at another 

person, it may just be what he or she wanted at that moment. I 

would not even know his name but I have made someone’s life 

better. Other times we meet someone and it becomes a long 

friendship or partnership and we are sharing ideas and 

experiences (connecting the dots between our lives). 

 

In Sanskrit there is a word “seva” which means “voluntary action” 

or “selfless service” This could mean you see a kid in a dangerous 

situation and you react without thinking to get the kid out of 

trouble – voluntary action or you see someone that looks as 

though they are lost and you offer to take them to their 

destination – selfless service. 

 

To be able to live up to “seva” you have to somehow connect the 

dots, be in the present to see the danger for the kid, having a dot 

in your subconscious that tells you what the danger is, or notice 

the behavior (connect the dots) of someone that needs direction. 

Maybe because you know how you act or feel when you are lost 

and would have loved someone to offer you help. 

 

By taking notice of your experiences when you live in the moment, 

you are giving numbers to your dots, just like in the game. By not 

paying attention to what is going on round you in the present is 

still leaving a dot but with no number! If you didn’t get the 

numbers on the dots, you will not know which dots to connect to 

each other. Then you really get into the 7th Sense of “Nonsense” 

and never into the ultimate sense called “Common Sense” 

 

Then you venture into meta physics where you get 3 types of 

matter 

 

“Matter”, “ Anti Matter” and if you don’t pay attention to your 

experiences “Doesn’t matter” 

Absense

Life is beautiful and always interesting and a source of learning opprtunities, new experiences and excitement.

Before you tell me I live in a dream world, let me give you some examples.

1. Is there darkness? 

Darkness  does not exist. Darkness  is just the absense of light. At the infinite extreme there is a place where there is no light. From there onwards we can just add light. How do we make it darker in a room for example? We limit light from entering.

2. Is ther such a thing as cold?

Again the answer is no. There is just absense of heat. At zero degrees Kelvin there is absolutely no heat. How do we make it colder, we take away the heat or suck it out. How does an air conditioner work? It takes the heat out of the media and then blows wind over the 'cold'

3. Evil? Bad?

The absense of good.

We can go through all the good attributes too. Greed is the absense of sharing. Hate is the absense if love, jealousy is the absense of trust. And we can go on. 

Where am I going with this? Just this, there is always a bright side, positive outcome, don't dwell on the lack, look for the abundance.

When we are dealing with people, look for the good, the kindness, etc. it is there and maybe it is up to you to add the 'light' in their 'darkness' the warmth in their cold, the good to their bad. Even in your own life you can make it better by concentrating on the 'good' rather than the 'bad'. Then, be grateful for it rather than blaming the absence of it.

Glass half full

Someone asked me the other day if I was a glass half full or half empty guy and my reply was neither. I am an engineer and believes the glass has not been designed properly so that it will always be full!

This may sound like a witty answer and it is but the more I thought about it? The more I realized that there may just be something true about it. 

Why should we be stuck with the same glass and measure everything against it if we can change the glass to fit the amount of water or whatever liquid you have in the glass? Then we will always have a glass full. Makes more sense doesn't it?

Ahh, but you ask how we do that? 

Let me relate another story I heard. If I look at my life right at this moment, this second, then I have exactly what I need. I have a place to stay, food to eat, work to do, family and friends who love and care for me, I am healthy, have talents that I am using, and I can go on counting all my blessings at this moment. 

I am also exactly where I am supposed to be. That's right. If I was supposed to be somewhere else I would have been there but I am not. 

Also, I  am exactly who I am supposed to be at this moment. I cannot be someone else right now can I? Or be different. I am what I am, now. 

So with all this information at my  fingertips, the glass size actually fits me at this moment and it is full. Amazing isn't it? To the rim. I should be content. 

So why do we have this glass half empty thing? Why are we not content with the situation right now? I think it is because we are not living in the moment. We are either living in the past with lots of regrets or unfinished business making our glass emptying out or half empty, or in the future with dreams and goals that we want to achieve to make us happy making the glass half full. Both of which keeps us from being content with what we have right now and the glass always feels to be emptying or filling but never full. 

But that cannot be right? I have all these things in my past that is bothering me. That I have to sort out! That little voice that tells me I should have.... You know what, at last, at last, the past is past. I cannot change it. Learn from it, make amends but put it where it belongs, in the past. 

Or what about the dreams and goals? It's in the future and not certain. Remember, contentment does not equal

complacency. I should have the dreams and goals but they should not be what determines my happiness at this moment. Happiness is a choice not an achievement. 

Moral of the story? Live in the moment , look around, count your blessings and redesign your glass so that it it always full. 

The Doors of Life

"If one door closes, another opens."

Doors are an interesting metaphor. And we use it so often that it has sort of lost its message. I have been thinking about this.

Doors have been invented so we can walk though walls. Clever, don't you think? No-one builds a room with no doors. If it has no doors it is not a room anymore. No doors - nothing very interesting inside! 

I Could not really get this metaphor. What happens if I am inside the room and the door closes? Does it mean I am trapped in a room where I maybe don't want to be? Plus I will not be able to open the door  that supposedly will open for me. Unless it means I have to open the door that closed to first get out of the room! Just a funny way to look at it.

Now, this whole metaphor works better if 'I' close a door. This will imply that I have decided that the room does not hold anything for me anymore or it is holding something that I don't want to be with or experience. Or I just want to get out of the room and don't want to return. (Obviously, then I have to open the door first before I can close it or it has to be open to start with)

Next, once I have closed a door, I must look for other doors. Just looking for other doors is not very interesting. Looking at a closed door does not tell me what it is hiding, (unless there is a sign on it).

Plus, to find out what lies behind, I have to try a door to see if it is open. If I don't try, firstly I  would not know if it is open, won't I?

When you find an open door, you have to actually open the door to see what is there. Then you have to go into the room to experience what the room has to offer. Just going around opening doors will be very unfulfilling. You get a glimpse of what each room holds but don't experience anything. Like walking around a great buffer dinner setup but not picking anything to eat!

Something else to consider - with a door open, you actually have to move you feet, you won't experience anything by not walking into the room. In other words it will take some more effort from your side. 

There is another side to this metaphor too. Sometimes someone else will close a door for you. You will then have a choice. Accept it and stay in the room hoping someone else will open it and you will like what they are bringing into the room. Or, the open door you are looking for is the one leading out of the room. Interesting, isn't it.

So - maybe the metaphor should read: 

"Sometimes you have to close a door to enable you to find an open door."

Or

"You have to open a door to get out of a closed room."

Or

"Don't judge a room by its door"

Deep questions

A very special friend of mine, Gala Guiba asked the following 2 questions that got me thinking again. Nothing new, it is my favorite pastime.

When is a good time to quit?
Is it "normal" to feel overwhelmed, suffocated, jailed, claustrophobic in a new affair?

These two questions are very interesting and obviously connected and there are no "correct" answers so I can be philosophical about it.

In this case, question 1 can almost follow question 2 and we can add to it "when does the feelings become so intense that you want to quit?" And we can extend the question to "work" or any "relationship" for that matter.

Relationships, be it romantic, work or any relationship will only work if 2 things happen.

You benefit from it
You make a contribution to it (unconditionally)

If you only have one of the 2 things happening, the relationship will suffer and fall apart, yin and yang (sort of) because sometimes one of the 2 requires a lot of effort. (I am sure you can guess which one.)

So, when is a good time to quit?

When you do not benefit AND you don't make or feel like making a contribution to a relationship, not just one of the 2. Sometimes you don't benefit because you are not making a contribution or you are making contributions to receive benefits. Sometimes you are receiving benefits and don't make contributions and then you have to beware, this cannot be sustained but it is OK to receive without doing anything. That is why the giving part should always be unconditional.

This brings me to the second question. Is it OK to feel restricted by a new relationship?

We are creatures of habit and when have been doing our own thing for a while, we get used to it and a new relationship will make you feel all the restrictions.

Relationships are compromises no matter how you look at it. Your contribution in the beginning is to make compromises. And in the middle and always. If you are not prepared to make them, you only want to benefit and as I have said, that is not sustainable. Once you have reached a stage where you are the only one making the compromises, the shoe is on the other foot and you stop getting benefits. 2/2 means you have to seriously look at the relationship. It is reaching its sell by date and needs some work from both parties.

Now I want to let you into a secret! If both parties to a relationship focusses on the second point, you will never run short of the first. The more you give, the more you get.

Easier said than done though.

There is a world outside my head

I read this phase in a book called Ignore Everybody by Hugh McLeod and it made me realize that sometimes we all live so much in our own world that we are not aware of what is going on outside our own reality. Don't get me wrong, my reality is my world and I know it but that does not mean that there aren't other realities out there.

But how do I figure out what these other realities are when my own reality is coloring everything that I experience?

Watching or reading the news is one way but I have leaned that so called unbiased news is anything but! It is the reality of the reporter or the news channel and sometimes it can be set up too. Like a good friend of mine always reminds me, there is a story behind the story behind the story. Someone once said that history is actually His Story so true. History has been written by the victors and does not reflect the reason the losers went into the battle in the first place.

So how do I get outside my own head?

Firstly by NOT being ego-friendly. Your ego will always prevent you from getting out of your own head.

Next, listen and pay attention to what is said AND implied, try to find the story behind the story. In relationships, figure out what is meant more than what is said. If someone is mad at you, is it because they are having a bad day? Is it because something you have done is putting them in a bad light or that is what they perceive? Is it that the person does not want to approach the subject directly and is using anger to force something else into the open?

Not easy I know because it is so easy to slip back into your own head. You have to put yourself in the other person's shoes.

In the end after you have ventured out of your head you do get back into your own head because that is where your reality resides but at least your reality will be colored differently by the "out of body" experience you have had.